Network Builders Arizona - Creating Strategic Connections
Network Builders Arizona - Creating Strategic Connections 

Personal Development

Other white papers on networking topics - 

  • Preparing to meet the stranger guidelines
  • How to convert present concept of "pushing" to "pulling" for prospect involvement.
  • Where are those customers anyhow?
  • Tired of networking groups. . . get me profitable!

Go to "Contact" page and request these please. Otherwise, do enjoy the "Collection of My Mind"

Turning un-easiness into calm . . .
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

It’s the perfectionist in me, I think. I get into a routine in my life, my morning whatevers, and I feel comfortable being there. Be it the prayers, meditations, shower, walking my dog, or my morning journal. . . they are set routines. I love them. They start my day off the way I like it.

 

The interesting thing is that my routines are all mine. No one else has them like mine or the same time. So when someone else enters my space during those set times, there is un-easiness. I do accommodate, I do bend, to please. Yet, that disruption is like a blocking of a wave. It’s like someone put a board up in front of a moving wave. BANG! Done!

 

If in fact I wish to be a part of society, I need to bend. I accept that. The degree that I bend fluxuates determined by how much away from my routine I need to go. Then, the amount that is needed to get back to my routine is another variable. Best to say, I need to locate the switch that returns me to my comfort zone – my routine. Is that not what life is all about? It’s about how well we adapt to our bending from our norm.

 

There are degrees here that I just figured out. I enjoy change, on the most part. I thrive on new ideas and ways to improve. Yes, I am different. If that is so, why do I feel un-easy when change appears? It’s the “moving my cheese” concept. Give me my routine, then do what you want with me. I’m all over it. I just need my routine so I can calmly reason, look at all angles, then charge ahead. It is definitely a comfort zone/routine issue. So, it is a timing issue? Yes. Absolutely.

 

What would minimize this discomfort? Not going into my routine timing, I guess. I think that I set this schedule up automatically. I don’t book appointments usually before 9:00. Then all my personal stuff gets done, even my journal. Emails? Probably not. They need to be ever so lightly screened no matter what. I’ve been caught miles away at an appointment more than once that was cancelled in an email. This formula works, it has for years.

 

What if someone walks into my routine? What if that is the only time they can meet?

  • let me routine go. Instead of trying to put those hours somewhere else in the day, I just don’t do the routine. So, what does that do? My foundation, body-mind set is not strong.
  • If it’s once or twice spread apart, I live with it. It truly does not seem to bother me.
  • I do need time at some point to clean up the mess. Typically, when I do a lot of one on ones in a day and need to send them referrals, I get bogged down in doing that last part. My desks get stacked with action items, and eventually it wears on me. That is when a Saturday is enlisted, to get it all done. I am then clean and ready for the week.
  • Am I in control of me? Looking at my answers, it does appear that I do have a system. That is good. If the disruptions are days long, we might have to employ another system to maintain the calm.

What have you done to minimize the chaos in your life? What system do you use to allow you to bounce back to be your true self? What can you do to employ that system? What then is “Plan B”?

 

December 6, 2018

 

Cultivating the Body-Mind Set
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

This is probably the most important of all aspects of success, purpose, and life. How we feel about ourselves first, then our relationships in our own world, then how we wish to be felt in the world, determines absolutely who and what we are. The amazing thing is that the control of it is totally ours. Of all the things in life we CAN’’T control, this is ours alone to control.

 

Consider how empowering this is. The weather, the thoughts of those you meet, the politics, the evolution of mankind, the color of our hair, all these are out of our control. Truly having real control of something is a huge value.

 

Knowing that, what do we do with that control? Since it really is our strongest asset, what do we do to use it to the fullest? Do we let others change it? When we realize our body-mind set is ours alone, they truly can’t change it without our permission. We need to give people permission to change our body-mind set.

 

Why would we do that? Why would we give away our only real control? Why?

 

We do it every day. An unkind word is spoken. We FEEL hurt, betrayed, guilty, abused . . . note FEEL. That is our body-mind set. How we interpret what is done to us (based on past experiences and probably false beliefs), determines our body-mind set. We CHOOSE. Thus, we can change it. We can destroy our interpretation, create another one, and realize that “others think of me in none of my business”.

 

Who are you giving permission to? Why? The body-mind set is yours alone. Keep it, nurture it, and by the way your self-image has crafted it. Time to realize the beauty and wonder of that self.

Being in the Present
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

As I morph through life, like a powerful stream, winding here and there, adjusting as I go, various realities come to me. They are like flotsam on my stream. I do not engulf them, nor do I abuse them. They are insights.

 

There are truly two states of mind that occur to me. Either I am in a social/professional image mode, or I am by myself, impressing no one. The key words here are “states of mind”. Mindset. . . and as Deepak Chopra says “body-mind set”, because both are one.

 

These mindsets are triggered by my past and experiences that have brought me either pain or pleasure. From those experiences, I have shaped my presence. I have found what works and what does not. I know that the criteria around the experience may not be consistent each time it happens. Many things might alter the next outcome (time of day, mindset of others, my new presence at that moment, etc.). Yet, I tend to ignore that as I use them as “realities”.

 

I have found that as a woman, my mind experiences so many action items every second, that it is amazing I can even walk or chew. I am constantly firing lists of things to accomplish, people to call. I call that chatter. Chatter has its good and bad points. I often solve challenges by chatter. My recreational thinking around the chatter, however, tends to run my thoughts further and further into a direction that has no validity. So, I could easily paint myself in a corner. Ever do that?

 

The beauty and wonder of being conscious, of being in the present, intrigues me. That means “0” chatter! Can it be done? To listen, to smell, to become aware of all my senses – in the NOW, can it? It is freeing. It totally allows a nakedness that is rich. It opens my mind to what others are saying and doing. It allows me to discard the airs, invite the real me to come to the front.

 

It also invites new energies. It is a playful mode without cumbersome anything. It holds no responsibility. I want to be there.

 

Are you?

 

Purpose, Fulfillment Thus Peace
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

The internal litmus paper that judges my life’s accomplishments, fades in and out of color. From subtle to mauve to brilliance, I grow and evolve. Try as I may, I find it difficult to see the hues. Much of what I do feel is geared by the people around me. As I attempt to think my moods, and my mindsets are mine alone, they are not.

 

I am an independent soul, influenced by what effects I can make upon the lives around me. The independence part is my attempt to believe I have created all that I do alone. I know better. True, my actions are independent in nature, yet are influenced by those in my world.

 

My inner peace is determined by my external actions. Once the reality of my talents is known, and I can see their usefulness, I can then move toward placing them in places to be appreciated. Actually making my talents useful, causes inner fulfillment, thus peace.

 

My own inner peace is the loud speaker for influencing the peace of others. As I reflect my fulfillment, I exude a sense of accomplishment, of acceptance, of purpose. This aura is truly an energy from within that lights my presence in my world. No matter how others try to ignore my light, they cannot. Can you “un-see” a light?

 

Peace is an inside job. Once we all realize that our own inner fulfillment of what we have accomplished is the spark for the same in others, there will be peace.

 

November 1, 2018

The Vibrations We Share
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

It occurred to me that since our lives are truly one large vibration at a time, I need to take advantage of this fact. I need to notice, to actually study the vibrations from those with whom I meet. This astute reality was at the tail end of my cause to be “in the moment”.

 

One of my pet challenges is not to let my mind do recreational thinking. Better defined, it’s when I am light years away from a conversation, or even writing, and I’m creating something else in my mind. As I do the “to do” list in my mind, the individual, the event that I am in front of or with, is minimized. My full attention is not there. Whomever is not respected. Only part of me is present.

 

This degrading habit must stop!

 

It then came to me that every part of my existence (even in-animate objects) have vibrations. There are sound waves, emotional waves, light waves, emanating from everything around us. I might not see or feel them. And, I am also giving off vibrations as well. My voice, my mere presence, all give off vibrations. Since what I give off bounces off whatever is in my path, it also returns back to me.

 

The bouncing is then received by what is in the way. It is positive or negative by several standards. The first is mine. I sent it out with a certain definition. It might in fact not be received as that by others. My vibration is my unique signature. How it is received really cannot be controlled, because that is an individual matter. I can control how I receive my own signal back. Truly that is the only thing I can do.

 

The other standard is that of whomever receives my vibration. I have absolutely no control over that. All I can do is send out the most positive energy I can, in hopes that whomever receives it receives it in an amazing way.

 

Realizing that all about me is completely neutral, and that I am the governing force of how I receive my environment, I now craft my life to be more attentive and positive, more in observance of others. Though I cannot control their responses, all I shall do is make my energy path me.

Programing Miracles - 
How to preserve and encourage
more clarifying and
teachable moments – miracles!

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Clarity comes when I pay attention. My personal perspective is that miracles are God sent. Call that being what you might, call it the Universe thing (if that feels better). And, they are present all the time, I merely fail to recognize them.

 

Most days I start with my chants/manifestations including “I bring clarity to my path and celebration to my heart”. Realize the “I” there. When I envision my schedule for the day, I think, “Now what would a miracle look like in that schedule?”. If I’m to have a meeting with someone, I envision wonderful connections, or great brainstorming that brings them “ah has”. That to me is a miracle. My life is simple. ?

 

So really it is envisioning. Envisioning manifests things. Pre-setting the scene, like thinking of the route to a meeting before you leave, programs the day. Does it always work? When you are driving, I sure hope so. When it’s a day thing, possibly not. However, the fact that I envisioned it and put it into the possibilities, I think makes a difference.

 

There are also times, like yesterday, when I truly did not even think about the miracle that happened. It appeared. I guess at some level I did envision it. I was working out at the Y, as I do 3 times a week. I saw someone new (only 3 of us in the room). He was African American, and from his features appeared West African. I know that nose and broader face. I am always attracted to Africans since my 2 years in Liberia.

 

As I finished my workout, I passed by him. We exchanged glances and smiled. He asked if I worked out often, I replied “3 times a week”. He was surprised; he had not seen me. It only took a few words from him for me to know he was from Africa. So, I said “What country are you from?”. He gave a sheepish smile and said “Zambia”. Score!

 

From there began the beauty and wonder of my collaboration expertise. By the time I had walked out, we had exchanged cards, I had plans to assist in his programs in Zambia, and my “global reach” had once again created another miracle. Did I manifest the miracle? No. Was I attuned to the type of people I wish to meet? YES!

 

What can you program into your life?

 

Eternal Faith
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Guess that truly is the topic of my life. Looking at that from every angle, it truly is. I have eternal faith in people, no matter who they are or where they’re from. God has blessed me with this. I think it’s a blessing. It is also a characteristic of my age bracket. We were taught that. Yet, today my culture has begun to bombard me with another new reality. I see it literally daily.

 

It is no longer a life based on eternal faith. It is protective, defensive, and unaccepting. I do not like it. Few things I blatantly do not like. This slowly creeping shadow I do not like. Each day my eternal faith in mankind is being undermined. In all my own internal power of “eternal faith”, a small thread is disappearing daily. Try as I may to ignore it, I am seeing it.

 

It is now time to muster up my strength and create a new way of living for myself. No one else need be involved really. It is the patterning of a new mindset. I truly believe this new focus and perspective of my life needs to be shaped. The eternal faith must survive. The external undermining must be eliminated.

 

It is inherent to my soul to know that each person I meet has a deep chemistry that forms their being. EVERY person has this. It is the human in us. This chemistry truly wants the best for us and mankind. I believe it as though it were a tiny molecule of their being. Absolutely nothing can alter this molecule.

 

With this knowledge, I now reshape my judgment of my life.

 

The Open and listening self remains. There now is an addendum to that open door. It begins with an awareness, somewhat Excitement of Awareness, just call it an awareness. It is the honing of a sense I have developed for 73 years. This sense is Trust. Actually, it is a two-part expression – Respect-Trust. It is most difficult to completely employ this term and still be aware of possible consequences. I will find a way to do that.

 

That I am even placing this in my vocabulary is a bit scary, yet I truly believe necessary.

 

You see, our population is morphing to employ acting into their being. The well-tuned and intelligent beings have taken their hidden talents to act, to heart. They have masked their true selves to the extent that we see them and not their ulterior motives. Their goodness is seen. The manipulating aspect lies quiet until it is massaged to fruition. Thus, it is difficult to see.

 

At this rate, it is only a small percentage of the population. Is it important to trace a history of why it even has come to pass? Other than the infiltration of a need for abundance, not sure it is important. Fear of course holds a huge stake. That’s an entirely other topic.

 

It is growing, and God is allowing it, obviously. I think He is also developing in us “original innocents” a capacity of screening that needs to be employed by all of us. We are the beginning germ and the planters of seeds. We must manifest this new screening, to preserve mankind.

 

The development of this new mind-set must not be done hastily. Awareness is the founding block. Insight is the twin. Perception holds them together. The three are truly the proving grounds for this new mindset. They employ now an umbrella approach to my original pure and open, trusting self. They shelter me, protect me, and make me look at others with new filters. My umbrella now employs years of wisdom and screening. At each interaction with another person, new filters are put into place, filters based upon those years of knowledge.

 

The open and accepting, curious and loving me now guardedly approaches life. I seek the innocence, openness of others, with a distinctive screen of critique. Layers of proof are now needed to accept others completely. That’s alright. Not many of us are true actors. My wisdom knows.

 

The equal hands – Respect/Trust (RT) and then Awareness/Insight/ Perception (AIP) as the umbrella, guide me now. Respect/Trust still are my core. Though each relationship will be judged by my experiences now, not blind faith. Eternal faith, yes. Blind, no.

 

 

September 29, 2018

Turning chaos into peaceful calm, how?

By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

It does not happen often in our home, but when it does our entire family responds, including the cats and dog. “When mommy’s upset, we all are”. No truer words in our home. I do try to keep an even keel if I can, yet every once in awhile life rattles our cage. Something tells me, I am not alone in this type of situation.

 

I truly believe it all revolves around the “family rhythm”. That is probably the best approach. Our lives have a schedule that works for us. At a certain time, we do something. Even the pets are part of that schedule. Any member of the family can both cause adjustments by their movement out of sync, and absolutely every member is affected by the change. Heck, people create careers around change management. Why not our home?

 

That not so amazing answer now needs to be analyzed to see what we can do to minimize the damage. We are definitely “creatures of habit”. The answer in adjusting to the moving away from this systemic path, is seen in our knowledge of its existence, then our coping skills of understanding how to minimize it.

 

Since I am the “systematic being”, let’s see what we can do to correct the shift:

  • When timing and routine actions are moved or removed, we need to acknowledge the movement. Note it in our brains, without judgment, instead merely that it exists.
  • It’s like if a bear approached us. Our first thought is to run. If instead we observed that he is there, not run instantly, clearly make a response. That is the difference between react and respond. Now in the bear case, for our own safety, an automatic reaction might be more appropriate – fight or flight. Yet still, we need to consider – safe place to go, anything in my way, can he go there too? All of this is in a split second. Merely running might not be the right choice.
  • This boils down to the difference between respond and react.
  • We build into our mind a react database. Due to either habit or instinct, we program our brain to move. Safety and self-preservation are key determining factors. And, our results in the past, play into this as well. Our belief system tells us that when we did this before, something happened. In fact, it might have happened several times, to engrain the programing path.
  • The respond database is a bit more dignified, because it involves a more intellectual action based upon more desirable results. We think through what we want to happen. We take into account past experiences, do not necessarily repeat them, and come up with a more desirable action.
  • Back to our home environment – we note the shift because the disruption obviously has “moved my cheese”. That book goes into change in an interesting way. The system has been altered.
  • Next is the critical part – how do we adapt?
  • Each of our family members does it in a different way. Yet, because one or more of us decides the family movements, we all feel compelled to move with the change. It is because of respect. Oh my, we have added another entire new facet!
  • Thus, what would cause us to adjust?
  • Respect would be number one. We feel an obligation to maintain the family unit. If you are a cat or dog, you are certain that your best interests are being considered and you do it.
  • If you are me or my husband, it’s again respect, and in most cases faith in each other. I suppose love goes in there too.
  • All that said, it does not cause peace in any of our minds or bodies. The anxiety of not knowing why, the imposition of the shift, can disrupt our physical bodies, causing more acid, poor digestion, stress for sure.
  • What to do?
  • Again – note the shift. Note the inconvenience. Realize it won’t kill you. Know it will move back. And, as Patricia says “Respect the process.” We will get through this. We will evolve.
  • Go to solution!
  • How are we adjusting? Are we fighting back? Choose not to. Know it will pass.
  • What can we do to improve the situation? It might be something to pamper us, or a hug, or a kiss, or kind words. It is important to understand, to blow compassion in that direction. Knowing you are not alone, makes it work.

 


Seeing beneath the surface
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

Great topic. As my day began today, it was so-so. I knew I had some wriggle room to be able to catch up, and with 2 appointments, not much else stood out. I had looked at my life, and hoped I could muster up an excitement. All that until we took our walk, Lil Bit and I.

 

I looked around me and truly saw my trees, grass, cement, warmth, for nearly the first time. I returned home to sit in my hammock. I saw the trees, all of God’s natural abundance, and realized several things.

 

  • As often as I get discouraged that things move too slowly for what I put into them . . . sometimes they move too fast. The ebb and flow of my life is obviously of God’s choosing. I am not privy to the schedule or magnitude. With confidence now, I “respect the process”. With Patricia in mind, I “go to solution”. I need not know the whys for things in my path. I do know they are there for my good. I am totally aware and assured of that.
  • My questions and curiosity revolve around what is under the surface. This Excitement of Awareness topic has sparked a true questioning today.
  • The constant flow of the river within my soul, is often unheard. Its’ hum causes my deafness to it. It feeds my cells, nurtures my positivity, and does all possible to maintain stability.
  • I ignore it, as I do the flow of food, air, water, security, home/shelter, electricity and the wonder and power of technology. God allows its mask so that I can visualize that which needs to be done.
  • I do feel that it is necessary to embrace its dedication, constancy, and shaping of my life.
  • For I know, without a doubt, that ignoring that flow calls upon stopping of it. My daily chant reminds me “Gifts from God are extended based upon my acknowledgment of them”.
  • I truly believe that being deaf to my life’s forces, allows complacency to creep in. As complacency grows, my mind become more numb. I fear eventually to BE numb. The worst of all fates.
  • So, today I peek beneath the surface, and express love for its existence, for the consistency of its flow. For its roar that is like music to my life. It clears my mind of need. It allows creativity because of its assurance.
  • Thank you, God. I now create!

How much of our lives

are we truly aware of?
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Excellent question, Grasshopper (from the Kung fu series long ago). Awareness is a mysterious and precious thing. One we take for granted. One we can enlist totally, or one where only survival is our awareness. I truly believe that beneath our consciousness is a large river that controls our existence. It keeps us alive, safe, cognizant enough to live. Kinda like our autonomic nervous system. Though truly it is God.

 

Call “Him” what you wish, there is something controlling us. Face it, do you truly believe that from a single cell we sprouted into multi-faceted and complex machines? Really?

Let us assume we had a discussion with God about our path. Suppose before we even got here, we set up a contract on what our lives would be like. That was not about the experiences we would gather, instead the paths we would take and the accomplishments we would have. The experiences merely reinforce and create the paths. Of course, we were not allowed to know what we selected until we returned “home”.

 

This is my belief. Where Awareness fits into that is the plan also included a lot about our Awareness. When we build our character, Awareness is a huge part of that. It truly is the core of what happens next. It shapes how fast we meander through life. The Aware. . . see what is happening, understand the experience, glean from it opportunity. They see reasons and purpose. Their path is no less complex. They walk it with assurance that their steps are needed, recorded, and valuable.

 

Awareness implies an understanding, though I’m not sure it is true. I think Awareness is a “it’s not the good news, it’s not the bad news, it’s just the news” concept. Judgment can be in there, and I guess nearly always is, since naturally we have it. Though a reading of something is more like it. Similar to a wind in our faces. It is there, so what?

 

My part in this life is to add something more to Awareness. The Excitement of Awareness!  It is who I am. Cognizant = Aware. When one gets excited about that awareness, good or bad, now we have a game changer. Now our senses are alerted, our experiences come forth, our judgment switches on, and we throw in emotion. Now there is a fingerprint on our soul. It is the beginning of the good or bad. It is the shot gun for the start of the race. The adrenaline kicks in. Miracles and death can occur. Uncovering that realm, those realms, is ME!

Allowing the pieces to fit  . .
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

This seems to be the hardest for me. I always hope I am proceeding as God wishes. Inside I know I am, or I would not do what I do. It is a hard-fast-planned life. I do not know the plan, though I know that whatever I do is what God wants. It is a very reassuring feeling.

 

The struggle is to get enough of a vision to know which path to go on. I guess, just knowing I am traveling on my best foot, best judgment, highest intention is enough. Remembering to ask “What is the answer that respects my highest intention?” I think Patricia Munson always said that. Not sure. It truly makes it even easier when I think that way.

 

The other thought that makes it understood, is “how can I improve upon this situation?”. That is a good and positive one, that leads to pro-active and positive intentions. Slam Dunk!

 

I also realize often that as I struggle with a strategy or plan, that it is my way of understanding. It’s like trimming the path of weeds. It has to be done, you aren’t sure you like it, yet when it is trimmed, the results feel great. Like “that weed there”, “now I see the path” each plateau I encounter makes the path clearer. Then I look back to a clean path and realize that all that trimming made a difference. Those moments of elation are what I love.

 

So often I attend events begrudgingly. I beat myself up for going, until I get there. Once there, and I look back afterward, I see how meeting or seeing someone puts yet another piece in the puzzle. Had I given in to “want to be home with my husband” into the formula, I would have missed that person. Then we would have had to meet somewhere or somehow else. It is a detour.

 

I truly don’t want a lot more detours. Sure, I need to learn by seeing new scenery on the detour. That scenery just might brighten what I already know from somewhere else. Never know. I get to the place in my life that I think I deserve a more linear approach. Like shortest distance is a straight line, kind of thing. Guess all of that is up to God. Patience, Grasshopper, patience. . .

 

What is success, how is it defined?
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

This is totally an individual interpretation. Each of us has goals, each unique. Thus, success starts as accomplishing goals. It might then progress to a defined terminology as a vision.

  • To be able to
  • To build
  • To accomplish
  • To some it’s monetary, or position defined, or numbers of people served. It is totally unique.
  • That’s why it has taken me most of my lifetime to have my own definition. When I borrow other’s it truly is an injustice to God and to me. This is so astute, I can hardly believe I came up with it at 8:16 am. ?
  • The simplicity can truly free me. To some it might be getting up in the morning, or realizing that you truly are alive. If we but realized the huge number of successes we accomplish daily, my guess is that we would feel more accomplished and increase our self-esteem.
  • All of life’s tasks can easily revolve around simple things:
  • Establish goals, small and medium and large. Start with easily accomplished things, like waking up.
  • Define what success would be based upon those goals. Might be just a small step toward them.
  • As each is accomplished, celebrate, take credit, acknowledge your greatness. After all, in my world, all who matter are God and me. End of worry. When WE create the goals, acknowledge the success, and beam with pride, God sees. I am fulfilling his desire of me. What could be more important?

Acceptance. . .

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Reading about this today, it is interesting, and I think the core of our struggles. I base my philosophies on my examples. For, to do elsewise would cause judgment, and judgment is the opposite of forgiveness, thus no love.

 

Accepting that which has happened, is not always easy. The pain and agonies abounding our society cause us to act out of fear (False Experiences Appearing Real).

 

The experiences we witness are real to us as we see them. We may not like them. 

 

Witnessing the situation is first. Acceptance comes second, that they truly exist. Third, can we forgive them, since we have no clue the situation? Fourth we apply love. Fifth, can we improve the situation? How can we improve on what experiences we see in our own reality? Their occurrence was placed there by God, for reasons unknown to us. Perhaps it was to have us respond. Perhaps it was a lesson for many. Might be a teachable moment for society. All it truly is, is a happening, in the evolution of our species.

 

v    Witness

v    Accept the surroundings we know not of

v    Forgive

v    Love

v    Improve upon it

What is Real?
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

In humor this morning, my husband announced the obvious. “They are advertising real meat, or real chicken, what does unreal look like?” It made me laugh and to think how often we say words that appear logical, yet when we compare to their opposite, do not. Here are some thoughts for your day:

  • How often “real beef”? Do you suppose someone has created grain, preservatives, mulch, beef? Yes, actually they have.
  •  This brings to mind how often we see things that have been manufactured to look like the real things. Game and cooking shows are built around these. It’s the illusions in our lives.
  • That also gets us into virtual reality, a most trending and fascinating arena. We are only in the baby steps here. I foresee a world with mostly that, no real trees, buildings, anything. Oh my, hope I’m gone by then.
  • Think of the people you interact with. How many are real? By that I mean how many have developed a total mask all their lives. Had they looked at their progress, they might have made money at it as an actor. Instead they present a face of who they think others want to see. Have to feel sorry for them.
  • Yes, we each have masks that cover up our real selves. It is a protection of what we really feel inside. Some of us hide there, others only pull out the masks when people get too close. The authentic and genuine people, who live as they truly believe, are few and far between.
  • That begs the question, do we really know who is real? It is often difficult to truly know. The authentic few often glisten with reality, loving life, not hating it. They shine for all to see. They are glorious to witness and to be around. And, in their presence others tend to be more authentic. Or at least aspire to. Thus, why would we not want to be real?
  • It’s the same old FEAR – False Experiences Appearing Real. This drives to the core of the issue – self-esteem. When one feels totally at peace within, knowing they have a collection of experiences placed carefully in their path by God, then it matters not what others think. These people are on an independent track with such faith and confidence, that not much stops them. I want to be there!
  • Yes, real comes from self-esteem. I suppose that’s why not many of us possess it.
  • How taxing and exhausting it must be to not be real. I’ll bet it’s a full-time job. To have wasted a life at it too, how sad.
  • Looking at myself, I think I’m about 95% there. Thank you, God.
     

There is a challenge today. Look at those around you, and see how many are real. How many come across as authentic, as being themselves, and as being sincere, open, curious, unafraid. You might be startled. Look also for our advertising hang-ups. How often are we asked to buy ‘real’? Then look at the opposite. Does it exist or are we being hyped to buy?

 

It is a sign of our times. The genuine, authentic, real deals are unique. Please celebrate them, bask in their simple beauty, and realize that man’s facsimiles do show his ingenuity, though what is gained?

June 21, 2018

 

 

Life is Good?

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

How often we hear people say “Life is good”! We look around and think, “Gosh, theirs is, why not mine?” The lesson is in perspective, totally perspective. Let me explain and show how perspectives can change, depending on who you truly are.

  • We collect experiences that I prefer to consider lessons for our growth. No matter be they good or bad. We look at them, we grow. We ignore them, and golly gee they get repeated until we get the lesson. Best to catch them the first round!
     
  • So, our perspectives of any experience are created by our past. They are totally unique, and no one alive has the same experiences, because they have not had the same life.
     
  • Our value judgment of our life is truly created by:
  •  
  • Past experiences and judgment on the lessons from them.
     
  • Our built-in belief to the “shoulds” in our lives, that was imposed since age 5 (setpoint)
     
  • All of which create our mindset.
     
  • That said, because we are humans, we have the option to change those beliefs AND our perspective of past experiences. No one can make us do anything, no one can make us feel any way other than what we create.
     
  • “Life is good” is the daily commitment made by millions of people. Their mindset has been crafted to see the positive, be grateful for absolutely everything. As a child, I was raised that if I had anything to be grateful for, I had no right to complain. It didn’t take long for me to realize that just waking up in the morning was a gratitude that eliminated anything except “Life is good”.

The freedoms we take for granted. . .
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

With the Memorial Day weekend right next door, I take myself to so many places. As I do, I must realize this luxury is not free. So many people in our world are in constant pain, surrounded by threats to their existence, and generally unable to feel at all free. My luxury of freedom is many fold:

  • First and foremost, the luxury of a military force willing to give their lives for MY freedom; such a luxury. Strangers to us, with faith in survival themselves, they take on this life. Why?
  •  What actually drives someone to place themselves totally into this? What was placed in their soul to inspire them to give of themselves? I think that is a HUGE question, unanswered.
  • Is it not the answer to that question that should be illuminated this weekend?
  •  I have yet to hear answers. What is their why?
  •  Why would anyone leave their family at home, not to see them grow, and embark upon a perilous journey that might cost their life? Why?
  • What as a child enamored them to this destiny? What did we do?
  • Did any ever realize the risk still of returning unscathed (impossible mentally), feeling fulfilled and sad, to possibly the remaining years of readjustment?
  • Though society has made enormous strides to help in this readjustment, is it enough?
  • Do these dedicated few see this before they enter?
  • Do they even think about this when they sign on the dotted line?
  • As I spoke quite dramatically at a Vet Expo recently – LISTEN!
  • This is possibly the most important thing we can do, LISTEN!
  •  LISTEN, see, feel, then ask HOW might we assist?
  •  My luxuries today are because of our military, plain and simple!
  • Thank you, God!

 

When do self-development
conferences finally ignite action?

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Of course, this is an individual answer, yet possibly more universal than I think. I could not tell you have many “complimentary” workshops, seminars, conferences, I’ve attended. All in the hopes of that golden nugget that would spark action within me.

 

Scores of people have invested many bucks into my appearance, in hopes I would be so attracted to their message and demeaner, that I couldn’t resist but be coached by them. Sorry ya. . . I am a past, present and future master of the all mighty “NO”. Is that why no action?

 

OK, be fair here. I don’t ever relax quietly in front of any technology, doing nothing. Night time, TV, a different story. During work hours, never. So, action is what I do, always. I guess the quality of that action is the meaningful part. Let’s look at that:

  • If action means answering emails, calling on the mistakes of credit card companies, or scheduling lunches. . . I am active.
  • Instead if action means preparing for a project, or actually writing for the project, or doing one on ones with the members of the project, I do that too.
  • However, if we judge action by the results, that might be a unique evaluation.
  • What was done directly to cause the desired results? That could be emails, phone calls, connecting people via emails, yes, I’m a master at that.
  • So, taking action appears to not be an issue here. I don’t think I procrastinate a lot.
  • I guess it’s having the best tools to do it efficiently then. I think I have them.
  • So, I think it’s the vision that’s missing. I do not truly SEE the vision. I vaguely see myself prosperous enough to do what I want. However, the surroundings and vehicle are missing. Though aren’t I supposed to ignore the “cursive hows”? So, envision without them?
  • Back to square one. The personal development is there to teach me how to craft the vision in enough excruciating detail that I manifest it. Humm. . . Can’t I do that myself? YES!
  •  The answer to action is to create the vision in complete detail, then the path will unfold and be seen, so you are totally living the vision. I think that was about 20 seminars ago. Why didn’t I listen? Timing, dear Grasshopper, timing. NOW!

 

Daily minutia. . . is there a formula?
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

I am realizing that in one day, I collect enough “food for thought” to feed a struggling third world country. That it is not life sustaining, is a shame. That it is MY life sustainability, a joy. All that said, is there a formula or system to expedite that which is essential from the minutia that clogs my brain?

 

Some of the realities of this concept are worth noting, perhaps leading to a formula:

  • To absorb at the level I do, I know is amazing. I’m a woman, so that adds to my expectations anyway. I am more alert and open and curious than most. Thus, more absorption.
  • So far, my brain holds this information for a long time. Thank you, God.
  • That’s the good, bad and ugly all rolled into one.
  • They say we only use 10% of what we see/hear. Thank God again. I have difficulty acting on what I absorb now!
  • Distinguishing the next step, that’s my challenge.
  • For years, when I left meetings (especially networking), my mind was in total overload. I would feel so inadequate because I could not make positive impacts because of the meeting. Impacts for EVERYONE! Before too long I realized that my assumption was flawed. I could only do what God wanted of me. Truly that was all that mattered anyway.

What a logical system would look like is:
Dump: – at least once a week, if not daily – Dump on paper ALL that needs to be done. I use Google Calendar/Tasks
Sort:
Look at the list, what is urgent? What is by the end of the day, week? What will get me where I want to go? Are any just busy work that lead to zero?
Time:
Beside all of those making the cut, write the time to complete. Here I mess up; how to get it right.
Calendar:
Print a calendar of my schedule from online calendar (Google is great); same as my phone.
Then print the action items from my calendar task list that I wrote down.

Place:
Number in urgency – the list. Place urgent in time slots open. Not urgent – days away.
GO!

Guess I’m more organized than I thought! This work for you? Hope so. Minutia be gone!

Mesmerized by routine . . .
the battle of complacency!

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

How simple it is to commit to a daily regime, as though stacking the odds against negativity. We seek even our own commonalities. When we are allowed to consistently do the same things, we feel safe. Routine rules.

 

Each of us claims this personal realm as a place to feel at home. When that routine can be, there is comfort. How simple to acquire good feelings. One might question why we ever escape from here? Some do not.

 

One must realize that there are those who are very content to live in complacency as though it is their destiny. They desire nothing more.

 

Others think of routine as a safe launching pad to ignite curiosity, then questions, then learning, then growth through actions. Their happiness is when thoughts, words, and actions harmonize.

 

I suppose there is yet a third category. It is those secure in routine, only because it is the only control they have. Yet they are unsettled and frustrated, not knowing the right questions to ask of themselves to get their answers. They are not even aware that they have the answers. They live in anxiety, in anticipation of what’s next.

 

This personal game is determined by heredity, present environment, and probably motivating factors. The most ambitious conclusion is that if we wish to be something we are not now, the choice is all ours. Of the three categories, all can change instantly, when we envision a future we wish to occupy. Our mindset of us doing, being, fulfilling, guides us, when we listen.

 

It does take accountability to our gut. What do we love? What do we do well? What is our service to others, that we do well, and love? Do you know? How strongly do you feel about your answers? Strong enough to battle complacency? Whose life is it anyway? Days. . . how many are left in our bank account of days? What “if only” or “buts” are holding you captive?

 

The Excitement of Awareness -
Self-esteem, love of a God in control of ourselves/destiny, and a reality of manifesting the vision we see for ourselves, all pull us out of complacency. Create the vision, know your strengths and gifts, and realize it is your purpose to be your best you. Nothing, absolutely nothing more is expected of you. Nothing except now the dedicated action that only you can perform.

 

The battle of complacency . . . the winner is YOU!

 

I Wonder
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

I look upon my life at any moment, trying to figure out the rhyme and reason for what happens. Most times I fall short, and do not get the whole picture until much later. I think the miracle of the happenings in the first place is worth noting.

 

It is totally based upon wonder. That is the category I place upon the ultimate organization and management of what we call life. Wonder is a word that shows curiosity, it includes total respect, and it eludes to magic. It is really a place, an attitude, a state of being, where we are eager to learn. Perhaps we can call it the ultimate tool of mankind. Yes, it is.

 

Wonder implies an openness, an eagerness to learn. It mostly has guarded judgment. At the pinnacle of wonder, we are not judging. After we see, understand at whatever level we employ, then judgment comes into effect.

 

And yet, it brings forth to the front all we know. It collects our every experience to decipher what is happening. Reasoning and logic guide the path of the experiences. Understanding is right up front to make sense of the wonder.

 

When we incorporate wonder into our lives, at whatever level feels right, we open ourselves up to growth. He who does not wonder, fails to grow, and stands stagnant in life. Yes, you can quote me. ?

 

Children spend most of their childhood in wonder; for there is so much to learn. I do not know the age when wonder pales. When is it when we set it aside and don’t call upon it? Could we say when we get settled into a job or pattern in adult life? Then, and only then, do we bring out the wonder only when we are tired of life as it is. For you see, wonder elicits a “what if” factor. This set of words is precious, and the germ to openness, creativity, growth and new beginnings.

 

Wonder has two parts to it. One part is the curious about something. The second is desiring to bring about something totally new. It is with the second one that we add the “what if”.

 

Would it not be amazing if we spent more time in wonder, in the pure unbiased curiosity of it? Would be great if we stayed there for a while. Wonder. . . like a thirst for answers. . .if each new wonder bore a curiosity to explore more . . . would that not be “wonder. . .ful”? Yes, full of wonder.

 

Instead we allow wonder, add judgment, resolve answers, employ actions. Not sure it’s possible not to do that sequence. It is human nature to try to understand then to put a feeling, a label, a significance to it, then to act based on the learnings. Is it possible to just be in wonder, without all the rest?

 

I leave with a commitment, and a quote from Gerry Spence. “I prefer to be open to wonder, rather than closed by belief.”

 

 

Flipping Imperfections!
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

I and many of my friends are perfectionists. What that means is that routines, the way things are done, timing in general, all have to be done by what we are used to. Heaven forbid if there’s an early meeting, and the routine is broken. What if someone talks way too long, and the usual email cleanup doesn’t get done? Worst yet, if several days are in the loop, like a conference, do we ever get caught up or feel that we are there?

That is a perfectionist’s nightmare. Does this resonate? Does with me!

Solution?

1.              I can let it set my entire day eschew, causing the domino effect of everything                       not fitting. This is not desirable.

2.              I flip it! This requires two things – an awareness of what is mandatory to get                       done today, and about 10 minutes to create a trip in my mind that will readjust                   the present chaos.

Solution for choice 2 –

0.              Look at the “to do” list in whatever form it’s in . . . on paper or in the computer.

0.              Circle only 2 of the things that are “life or death” due today.

0.              Now look at the rest of the day in time slots, hourly.

0.              Beside the 2 that have to get done, write shortest time possible to do them.

0.              Then place each into remaining time in the day.

0.              Before beginning to start the first – take the 10-minute trip
In a quiet place, without ANY interruption -
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath. Exhale. Do that about 4 times.
Now in your mind, place yourself in a place you love (forest, field of spring flowers, stream, ocean, etc.).
Spend 10 minutes (user a timer), exploring all that is there – feeling, smelling, tasting, visuals in color. It’s what I call “wallowing”, being enveloped by it.

0.              Slowly return. You have now cleared your mind, and realize you can escape nearly any time you wish. Teach your kids/grandkids this 10-minute reset. It is amazing.

0.           Now get to work. Deep breathes at least once an hour, and a stretch, phone OFF, emails out of sight!

The only thing we can control is our minds. Take control.  . . flip it!

 

 

Look Around -
The Excitement of Awareness In Business

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Reality –

Another day of the week, filled with phones to answers, connections to make, and emails to sort. One day leads to the next, and after a week of selective chaos, what is accomplished? This is a wakeup call to a business owner, like me, who is not truly paying attention.

 

What is Missing –

Just today, as I wallowed in the 650 emails, I began to ask myself, what am I missing? What I’m missing is the thousands I know all around me (how many in your database?). They flit on by, some repeating the same “happy birthday”, that I appreciate of course. Yet, when I received over 80 such facebook comments, I realized I have been doing such a dis-service to so many.

 

If I were to really look at my database for alliances, I’ll bet I would craft out a totally more profitable life. I, the one who preaches same, needs to look too. Who is out there? More important, who is out there yet hidden in the costume of “friend”, “high school whatever”, “coach”, “electrician”, you get the drift? I’ll bet if I focused instead on the people who SEE my target audience (business people), and worked intimately with them, I would be more Word of Mouth. I know it for a fact!

 

Action Steps –

·               Identify your target audience:
Business owner, home/family, women, health, entertainment, or baby boomer.

·               WHO targets your audience too?

·               Go into your database and find them. Hopefully you have a database categorized by what they do. If you don’t – see me!

·               Now you and I will establish a strategy on how to align with these people who will find you “remarkable” and tell their world (your target audience) how remarkable you are. . . Word of Mouth.

·               Look Around! Who are you missing?

 

Networking is what you give, NOT what you get!

Love in Business
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Valentine’s Day is upon me. I begin to appreciate all that I love. As I meandered through my long list, it occurred to me that my love of business was not there. This provocative thought, inspires this article.

 

My business is me, daily. Every waking moment I am my business. There truly is no separation. Of course my personal time with family and friends appears to be completely devoid of business. Yet, since my business is connecting people, seeing the commonalities in the people I meet, and absorbing their talents and needs. . . I do it always. I am never aside from those thoughts.

 

An example:
I was discussing guinea pigs with a business associate. She raises them and essentially, they are her children. She is obsessed with them and a fanatic about their love and care, as her children would be to her. As she explained her involvement with the 4H, and getting kids into stewardship and community care, I began to automatically reach within me for answers. I offered her thoughts on ways to get to 4H, to get to children, and to do more in the community. She looked at me and said, “your mind is amazing. Do you ever NOT connect people and resources?” I said “no”. It is my existence here in God’s world.

I look at my life, when I am not “in business”, and find the above very true. Life is a constant building of relationships. It might be my place in the life of the tree in my back yard. It certainly is in the constant attention I give my pets. Relationships are my life. Commonality Quest is truly what I am all about. Commonalities are the cornerstone of relationships, they provide a love of sorts. When people can relate to each other, and share things (any things), a closeness begins. The more commonalities, the stronger the bond. Thus, my business is whomever, whatever, I interface with.

 

My questions to you are . . .

·                Do you truly see your own life via the commonalities you explore, as I        do? Am I alone here?

·                When you relate to people, do you try to uncover commonalities, or do you merely respond, react, and move on?

·                What would life be like if every time you talked to or met someone, you based your conversation on finding, enjoying, expressing your commonalities?
My guess is it might indeed change your outlook.

·                Is my Commonality Quest what makes me. . . me? I think so.

·                Could more business be transacted when we come from Commonality Quest? YES!

 

Try it, you might like it. My love of business is my love of my fellow man, and my desire to bring more into their lives via commonalities. As I do, my soul purpose is to create the Excitement of Awareness. Did you get it?

 

The NOW Concept
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 


A brand new approach to the NOW. . .

 

This is totally inspiring. I have to admit, actually even enlightening. Get ahold of this concept –

  • The first reality is that women spend probably 90% of their lives in their brain with recreational thinking. That means they judge, value, what-if, and meander, most of their waking hours.
  •  Second reality – much of that thinking deals with evaluating the past mistakes and applying that awareness to all of the future.
  • Third reality – while all that time is being used, the NOW, right this moment lies filled with the past.
  •  Pray tell, what value is there in clogging the NOW with the past?
  • To some degree – we learn from the past. We learn what did and didn’t work. We then make ass-u-mptions about future actions. All not truly based in reality (other than our personal reality from our past experiences).
  • However, is not our own reality the only one that counts? Yes, Grasshopper, yes.
  • Knowing the waste of years (literally) of our lives in the past. . . .
  • What would it take to accept past reality for a minute, then respect the process, then be NOW?
  • Seems like it takes a lot for some people. They hang on to the past like a precious gem that someone will take from them.
  •  Can we ever place that gem (so to speak) into a velvet box, close the padded lid, and kiss it goodbye until there is nothing left in life to do but open the past and cherish it?
  • You see, life is one big emotion. We jump from emotional stepping stone to another. Try as we may to control those emotions, most of us cannot.
  • Yet, the only control that we DO have, is our own emotions. Thus, it is totally doable.

 

Back to controlling our emotions –

  • With the “triggers” in a velvet box. . .
  • Can we program our NOW feelings, based upon what we love? Yes, Grasshopper, we can.
  • Intuitively we know what brings on feelings of love, pain, lust, happiness, generosity, compassion, satiation, wonder, curiosity, openness, sadness, hurt, awareness, excitement, the list goes on.
  • Conversely, it is what is in that closed velvet box that does it! Oops, back to square one. the box.
  • I think I have it.


GRATITUDE

Gratitude for the NOW, brings on emotions, feelings of joy and happiness, all the good that we want. When we are grateful for all around us NOW, we are not living in the past or future. We are right here. In fact, we are at peace!

BINGO!

Living Your Purpose
Darren Hardy puts it so elequently and why we are here. Are you up to the challenge? Start your Eulogy:

https://youtu.be/Z73UWHYmiCY

Significance of Holiday Rush
In Running A Business

By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

No matter what religion you practice, or culture you came from, if you live in the United States, you observe holidays in December. I am constantly amazed by how we all have been so programed to such a pattern, based on religion. Don’t tell me that business and religions are separate. No matter what business you are in, December slowness affects you.

 

How can we economize on this lull, since it is mandatory? Realize that it tends to be a rush then a lull. Everyone is closing out their year, business and personal. That too plays into the scenario. So we hurry to economize on time, so we can slow to a crawl right before New Years. Economizing depends upon the business I guess. Some find this time their peak (retail).

 

If one were to philosophize, here’s how it would go.

 

Noticing a pattern is key here. Ah, ha the “Excitement of Awareness” (my favorite look at life). How can this “rush to lull” be taken advantage of? Since people literally do not function between Christmas and New Years, accept it, look forward to it, and make it WORK for you.

 

Personally, I enjoy the forced vacation. I look forward to cleaning up my office and life, envisioning new projects, even writing books. Since I have yet to program in a real vacation for years now, this mandatory lull is truly beautiful. In fact, this year I am forcing myself to literally not allow any calls or lunches or activities at all. Instead it is me and planning time. Such a luxury.

 

What are you doing with this forced lull? Pamper? Play? Plan? Imagine the feeling of being ready for 2018. Feel the clean around the keyboard. Rest knee deep in the mindset that you are READY! Such luxury.

Happy New Year!

 

 

Darren Hardy hits it right on the head. Look out 2018 - Expectation Leads to Manifestation! click here

Go To Solution
by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

 

So often I run across such a common chaos, that truly costs time, money and relationships. Once I learned how to avoid it; my life is so much better.
 
How many times have those around you discovered a mistake or perhaps someone did something wrong? It might even have been you? Did they ever spend hours, days, months, rehashing how bad it, or you, was/were? Did they continue to bash the blame way too long? How sad.
 
I learned from my dear mentor, Patricia Munson, a very wise trick.
Blame is understandable, so we can all learn. Yet, it does not need to take on a life of its own. It need not occupy a permanent place in your life. Say it, learn, then Go To Solution! The faster you Go To Solution, the faster good is done, a recovery is made, and people can move on to more fruitful times.

 

 

Making Sense of Our Present Chaos
By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli
 
 
Perhaps you share the thought of "what the heck is happening to our world?". I need not go into the doom and gloom of people coming out of the
closet, the purging through natural disasters, and the political unrest. What I do need to do is reassure you, you are not alone, and there are ways
to ride this wave.
 
I am probably one of the most positive people you will ever know. I have resolved our present chaos for my own existence. Perhaps it will assist you.
 
We are deep inside of the "purge". All about us we are seeing things changing, nature cleaning up, and people being discovered. There is a silver lining.
This purge is cleansing us and bringing out the positive, compassion in us. Notice our humanity coming to help each other. This is the only way to do this.
As the good recovers from the purge, we will witness a new paradigm. Life as we know it now, barely resembles our past; soon there will be a different
way of life.
 
I could go on for hours, please just realize, I know it, I feel it deep within my bones. I am not alone. . . nor are you. We will come up for air. . . together.
 
How to ride the wave? 
  • Keep an attitude of "it's not good, it's not bad, it's just the news". No judgment!
  • "Go to solution", don't wallow in blame; find an answer.
  • Look for a positive when you see negative. . . what is the lesson, and what is good about it, and an opportunity to grow?
  • Avoid TV news.
  • You are an example to everyone around you. BE that. Show ways to increase love, prosperity and peace. Be who to follow; random acts of kindness.
  • When you feel peace within, you will find it in others. Know you are exactly where you are meant to be RIGHT now! That is peace.
Should you wish to have someone listen, laugh, cry with you. . . I am here. I'm Jacque Zoccoli, your sister. jacque@NetworkBuildersArizona.com
 
Thanks,
Jacque
 
PS
a few very well put quotes:
  • I prefer to be open to wonder, rather than closed by belief - Gary Spence
  • I feel at peace because I trust and follow my internal guidance.
  • I attract the abundance I need to fulfill my soul's passion.

 

Enjoy Darren Daily on "The Chase"; it is so all about my new workshop series "Create A better Ending"
http://bit.ly/2zxqJKJ

Who’s First Anyway?

The Identity Explosion

© By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

A reoccurring theme has been buzzing around in my head lately about the whys and why nots of taking time for myself. It has yet to settle in one specific spot in my soul, and continues to dust off memories and buttons created from my childhood. As it flits around, I am learning what really is important.

 

Starting from day one, it was all about me. The only girl, idolized by my mom and dad, life was special for me. My brother, 8 years my senior, (to the day), didn’t really count. Well, he did, though he never really knew it. That’s an entirely different story. Life was me.

As I grew, I was taught that little girls could do nearly anything they wanted, and to be whomever they wanted to be, as long as it was a nurse, teacher, mother, wife and maybe a few others. We didn’t know of too many other professions, really. So I was programmed to go to college (thank heavens), become a teacher, get married, have a boy and a girl, live in a house with a picket fence, and live happily ever after. Don’t get me wrong, the picture looked good, it was a decent way to live. It was missing a whole lot of stuff that I discovered many years later.

 

I followed the game, strayed a bit at first and eventually broke the mold. The college went well, the marriage went well, then we (my first husband and I) escaped to Liberia, West Africa, with the Peace Corps. At that time President John F. Kennedy told all of us “It’s not what your country can do for you. It’s what you can do for your country.” Done. Was that ever a great choice? Oh my. We learned volumes on other cultures, minimizing our own needs, and giving of self. Sure we learned more than that, see future book.

 

Back to the mold. When we returned to the US, we hopped back on the track to be teachers. We had two kids (2 boys, not a boy and girl. . .) and the picture began to blur. A divorce occurred, then a new marriage, then a shifting of the entire picture. The thread that remained with my life was the “do for others, before yourself, you do not need time for you”. My mother did that in spades. As a single mom (my dad died when I was 6), she took on all roles. I seldom saw her allowing herself pamper time. From this my image of the perfect mother grew.

 

In a second marriage, filled with love and now 4 kids (his 2, my 2), I took on new responsibilities. Though the 2 extra kids were only on the weekend, they still required a lot of me. Luckily my husband believed in pampering me. So actually for the first time, the reality that I needed to take time for me began to grow. It was a small seed at first and off and on got covered up by dirt, though it was always there. It was my husband’s insistence on my pampering that I guess started my trend of thought for the article.

 

Many, many women are taught to be “doers”. They are dished tasks, responsibilities, roles that make them the one who accomplishes everything of value in the home relationship. Give up the time, the needs, the perks, all so it gets done and the kids and family are happy. That’s the usual mode of operation many women take on. We are the “super women” of the century. We are the organizers, the errand girls, the bakers, the love makers. It needs to get done, we do it. Why? It makes life so much easier to live with when it’s on our terms. Our terms? Maybe. However, I see a little pocket that is covered by dirt. It’s under the ground. It is filled to the brim with “what about my needs?” Many of us never show the world this pocket. We feel ashamed to let others know we have needs. That is until you get more than two women together who compare notes. Then you get one who says “What the heck?” “We lost ourselves in here.”.

 

Enter the 21st century. Color it technical. Computers and phones seem to run just about everything. The instant gratification for nearly every generation, is what now rules. Does the role of the woman, wife, mother, change? Possibly not. She just has more tools to get things done. However, she is now attached at the hip to demands. Oh my gosh. When she was able to actually listen to the radio or a CD while driving, she now has hands-free calls bombarding her as she drives. The car used to be a place for peace and quiet where, if desired, you could take in a good book on CD, and actually look at the roses as they whished by. Though you are able to find your way without maps (GPS), the environment seems to crowd you even more. All of this is of course, if you let it.

 

Women are different. So many are beginning to see themselves for the first time. Though their role models are a bit foggy, they are beginning to see that what they want for their lives is attainable more now than ever before in our society. The careers are as varied as the imagination. The resources are literally at their finger tips. The creative ones can literally make whatever income they desire by tapping into the needs of others. It is an amazing time to be alive.

 

Who’s First Anyway???

 

For the first-time women are learning how they can become what and who they want to be. They are learning that dreams can be fulfilled, their dreams, not the ones others had placed upon them. For the first-time women are realizing that they must readjust to what they want. No one really asked them before. It is a challenging time now. What do they want? Who do they look up to? Women never had the choices we have today. Is it the career woman, the movie star, the entrepreneur, or the ever-assertive employee they aspire to? Who is that mentor? What do they want? This is really the “Identity Explosion”.

I see growth sprouting out, like the wings of a butterfly. We have not chronicled this phase in our history before. I really don’t know how women will adapt to their new-found liberty. There are some things I do know.

  1. The generational divides will play a huge role in the path women take. The young “millennials” (in their 20s) see life as it really is now. Though they have challenges of being assertive, how to relate to parents, and how to become part of society, technology will pull them along. We must all realize the sharp differences we have amongst our different generations, to economize upon the strengths and minimize the weaknesses. Communication is essentially the key survival technique for all of us.
  2.  We must pull off the cloaks of being the ultimate “doer”. People around us need to fend for themselves so they too learn the value of self worth and accomplishment. When we do for everyone, we do nothing for ourselves. We thus teach dependence, we teach ignorance, we allow the self to smother. How pathetic.
    If instead we gave ourselves time, self fulfilling projects to develop our self’s well being, think of what we would do for those around us? The true growth of self worth and actualization would be attained. It would be expected that there would be time for self. For, we teach what we do.
  3. Women have an entirely new role in 2017. Some have been leaning toward it for years. Most have not. We are now the teachers, the peacemakers, the communicators. Left behind are the housewives, the mothers, the wives. These terms still exist, of course. Instead of definite labeled roles of women, they now will be the descriptions that are just a part of the woman. There is a blending of colors that make up the woman’s soul. She is no longer pink, blue, purple. She is no longer housewife, mother, wife. I see a brilliant hue of all of these. What immerges is an iridescent winged goddess. The colors are so vibrant that one needs to come closer to see what emanates them. They are created by a fascinating being filled with experience, insight, independence, understanding, and love.
  4. Look out world, we have just begun!

How To Become The Chosen One

In The Job Search

© By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli

 

Reality exists where one lives. We are what we think. Sounds rather remote, though it’s true. The mind really creates who you are. Therefore, to become the chosen one for a job, one must construct a reality that fits their unique self and then promote it to the max. In today’s job market this is the core of the challenge everyone has. There are way too many people qualified for few jobs, and only the creative, the persistent, will get the job. Getting there is the boot camp. Both survival and life’s career path are involved here. The questions are: how to promote your uniqueness so it’s desirable, and where to find the ideal job, and how to balance your life around your decisions.

 

What are your attributes that make you unique and desirable? Sit in a quiet room with no distractions, pen and paper are in hand. Quickly, without much thought, write down at least 8 things you love to do. Use business and pleasure topics, concentrating more on business. Do not critique, just brainstorm. On page two, do the same things with what you DON’T want in a job. It might be hours, location, physical labor, working conditions, environmental surroundings. Now look at these two lists. Somewhere in there is a thread. It leads in and out and truly shows what you are very good at. Seldom do we say we love something without some skills in it.

Pull out the thread from the two lists and look at the working environment. What jobs involve the most of what you love? Try putting a field into the search engine url and a location, and see what comes up. You might be surprised. When you see places you’d like to work, further research them. Learn all about what their employees go through, pay ranges, hiring needs, and then begin the campaign. Continue to look for similar businesses. Call for possible internships or part time work to see if this is where you want to be. Be open minded and think beyond the borders. This baby step might just place you in the best place at the right time. At least it’s what you love.

Start the quest for that new career or job. Become consumed in feeling what it would feel like to be working at the company you want. Envision the getting up, lunch hours, feeling of being appreciated. Try on the entire experience in your mind. Throw out the positive vibes to tell the universe this is what you will have. Be very open to what you get in return, what the world is saying about your choice. This will guide you as will your gut.

 

The journey has begun. Now build in the rest of your life. When do you sit alone and reflect on your desires and peaceful thoughts? When do you become consumed with being with family? When do you share with friends to let them know what you want so you can bring it to you? Balance is critical. It will round the corners on this irregular shaped entity, called you.

As you prepare for the new you, realize that you will only be hired when you are happy with this new package. Being happy means knowing you know more than they do in your expertise. You must have full confidence in yourself and show it. It’s in having the clothes to look your best and feel the professional person you want to be.

 

No one says the journey is easy. There are pitfalls that society has never had before. You are a pioneer in this area, and you have the skills to find the best job for you. Do not allow the pressure of finding a job ever guide you in any way. Pressure results in poor decisions and painful results. You must totally pack up those negative threads and lock them up away from your mind. Instead envision yourself as the best person for the job, feel it, smile and show it. You know you are, so too will they.

 

 

 

How to Compartmentalize Your Life

© By Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli, November 2017

 

Life appears to be taking a turn into a zone that many of us have never known. Usually there’s someone or something to go to as an example on what to do to get ahead. Since society has never been here before, with business icons being toppled, things we consider basic living (jobs), it is a real learning experience. What I’ve found is that peace and contentment go to the creative who can compartmentalize their lives.

 

Compartmentalizing means to focus to the maximum. It’s not allowing anything else in your world or view. The way I look at it, if I get so intent upon my work or a project, I have no time to worry about my next dime or what the future holds. The mind is only able to concentrate on one thing at a time anyway.

 

It is so common to multitask. The American society does it well. Sometimes physically and mentally we can hold onto thoughts and objects all at once. Some of us do so while thinking and worrying about the future. That preoccupation with worry and with not having control can overpower people. It often can cloud judgment, and definitely minimizes the essence and beauty of the moment. Think how terrible it would be to never live in the moment, to always be either in the past or future. That’s such a sad way to live. To always be somewhere else is really not a life, is it? It’s pretty obvious why so many people are depressed. Reliving the past and then pushing it to occupy the present and fearing it will be the future, oh my gosh. Nothing at all can change the past. No one knows what is in the future, so really the entire thing is without any merit at all. No control, no positive reconciling, just negative preoccupation. What a waste.

 

Let’s look at the converse. If one is in the moment, no thoughts of the past or concerns of the future, and knowing God has control anyway, we don’t, how simple. No stuff cluttering our minds, free and easy, only total focus on the moment, how peaceful. Giving up the responsibility of trying to drag along the past and creating the future in your mind, has to get rid of a lot of weight. Accepting the knowledge that the only thing we can control is our thoughts and actions, not the past, not the future, really does free us to enjoy the moment and the people around us. How uplifting.

 

So, compartmentalizing is a big word for focus. It is possible with a lot of practice. It truly frees up your life. It provides purity of the moment. It’s like giving your all to each moment instead of a partial you. It actually may add days to your life. Stress comes from worry, diseases occur because of it too. Less stress means a healthier body. A healthier body lives longer. The only concern is to not focus to the degree that one can’t function in society, nor be aware of the surroundings. Tunnel vision is good if one is aware of one’s environment. When the world only revolves around you, there is danger too. We all need to relate and be respectful of each other. Focus and awareness hand in hand, create a happier life. It’s a balancing act actually. No person is an island, we all depend on others for our food, clothes, everything in our lives. We need to relate to each other and other’s needs. When focus includes that relationship then compartmentalizing has been created for the good of all.

 

Each new day brings challenges that many of us had no clue we’d have. This society also brings answers we never had before, answers and new ways of receiving them. We have built into our lives new ways to explore (the internet) and new businesses revolve around assisting others. All this need not cost a fortune. So, if there’s any better time to have to fight these new challenges, I don’t know when it would be. It surely has never existed before.

 

Another thing to consider is the strength of alliances. We mentioned that none of us is alone. So true, so true. With each struggle, hundreds of others also struggle. So, there’s a really good chance that someone has found an answer to your challenge already. By creating alliances with business people, we search the answers together. We explode our chances for solutions, and we again lessen the worry and the stress. The bond of friendship is golden in business and personal life. Working as a team member needs to be understood. Look for my white paper on the things to consider in alliances before even beginning.

 

Survival of the fittest is possibly the foundation of life. The fittest are smart enough to know that:

  • Compartmentalizing their tasks and projects will free up energy and life.
  • Challenges will be solved by asking the right questions. . . we each know the answers.
  • Be open about finding solutions. Who else might have had this problem? Where would they have gone? What would they have done? The internet is amazing. There is probably a www.meetup.com group formed for that very challenge. Trust me, they’re all over.
  • Living in the present is a gift. It is an art and a really fine tooled expertise. The rewards are so incredible. When moments are consumed with full and deep thoughts of now, crisp new ideas abound. The positive creeps up and the freedom is exhilarating.

 

So, where are you spending your time? This is not a dress rehearsal. It is the final performance. We only get one act. No one is coming out of this alive for another round. Don’t you owe it to yourself to perform this round to its fullest? You only have so many minutes here. Focusing on now allows you to know you have lived your life, not merely been witness to it. It isn’t a spectator sport.

 

Jaclyn Zoccoli

 

Following Up Weekly

 

Darren Hardy hit it on the head about follow-up and keeping in touch with contacts. Please enjoy his suggestion for the day. It is awesome! 

Darren Hardy Daily

 

 

The Alliance Trap

by Jaclyn Miller Zoccoli
Jacque@NetworkBuildersArizona.com
© October 2017

 

 

Scores of stories can be told of amazing alliances that created fortunes for businesses. The dollar amounts would stagger even the most experienced. The advantages are sometimes obvious, most times subtle. What is NOT mentioned are the alliances that turned out detrimental to businesses. Sometimes this interaction caused the closing of the businesses, at least there was a loss of time and lots of money. How does one avoid the Alliance Trap?

 

Far too often two business people meet at a mixer, or other social event, find common interest and focus, schedule a future meeting over coffee, then once they meet again they get a real high over possible outcomes. I know that rush really well. It appears that the targeted customer base is common. Both businesses do compliment each other, so why wouldn’t an alliance really work? Getting the “come on”, the “flirtatious enticement” is exciting. It is almost addictive. Trust me, I know. As a Networking Coach, it really feels good. Experience shows that the “high” is just that. A one-time rush. When the actual alliance workings begin, the hard work is needed, the commitment is required, does the other party do their part?

 

“Alliances are much like Thomas Edison’s definition of an invention: 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration”. John L. Forbis and James A. Finnegan had it right in their article “Alliances for Competitive Advantage: Why, When, and How”. So, if it’s that hard, and you never know if the other person is going to do their part, what do you do to assure success?

 

First off, review the Criteria for a Successful Team Member:

•   Are they open minded about sharing and exploring?

•   What past history have they had with alliances? Has it been good or has it been bad?

•   How willing are they to do their fair share?

•   Do they understand the Quality Contact concept? By that I mean, do they realize the value of

    aligning with people who see their customers?

•   Is their customer base worth it?

•   What repore do they have with their contacts and customers - perhaps they’re a liability. Customer Service is critical.

•   Will they represent you well as a sales team member?

•   Do you feel comfortable recommending them? Why or why not?

•   Will they work at promoting you?

•           Are they available? Is there good chemistry? All very important. Pay attention.

My first blog!

Adoring Darren Hardy

Mar 11, 2016
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